Dysfunctional Household
by Celticelery
Summary: What happens when you throw four different warriors in one house and tell them not to kill each other? This fic! Crossover with God of war, Beowulf, and Prince of Persia.


**Disclaimer: I don't own anything here.**

**Okay so I wrote this when I was around thirteen, so its **_**not**_** that good. You have been warned.**

Dysfunctional Household Chapter 1: Bad Introductions

It was a quiet day. The birds were chirping the sun was shining. It was the perfect day.

Oh wait sorry wrong setting.

"Where the hell am I"?

"What the fu-"?

"Huh"?

"Ack"!

Four men from different times had appeared in front of a house. And they had no idea where the friggin clue where the hell they were. The men's names were: Dante, Kratos, The Prince, and Beowulf, All the men looked at each other then at their environment then: "What the Hell?" That was their first introduction.

Once again the men looked at each other only this didn't they didn't shout at the top of their lungs. They simply stared.

Finally The Prince said "Who the bloody hell _are_ you people?"

To which Dante oh so kindly replied "I was gonna ask you the same damn thing.

"Where the hell did you come from? A cosplay shop?"

Prince (that's what were going to call him) Glared and said "And just what do you mean by that? And what's a cosplay shop?" Dante stared wondering what kind of backwards place this guy came from.

"You don't know what a cosplay shop is"? Dante said

"Of course not. What _is_ a cosplay shop?" Dante stared. "What kind of backwards person doesn't know what a cosplay shop is?"

Kratos cleared his throat and said "You two" Dante and Prince who were engaged in intense glaring match looked at Kratos.

Who then said "Shut the fuck up and listen to _me_" Dante was shocked. Prince was taken aback. Beowulf was curious as to why nobody was talking to him. Dante said "Oh really? And why don't you tell us WHO THE FUCK DIED AND YOU BOSS?" He bellowed so loud it actually made Kratos's hair fly back. Kratos wiped the spit off his face and glared at red-leather clad buffoon "Ares" It was a short sentence that absolutely no one (but himself) followed.

At that time Beowulf decided to speak up by saying "Huh?" For the first time everyone noticed him. Dante stared in horror then said

"A third? A third cosplayer"?

Beowulf wasn't sure whether or not to be mad so he settled on stoic. "Um… cosplayer?" Beowulf said.

Dante said "If you don't know what a cosplay shop is then get a dictionary. And who the hell are you?"

Beowulf said "I am Beowulf"

Dante looked shocked beyond belief _What the hell?_ He thought _How is he back? And why does he look human_? "Amusing guy" Kratos commented watching Dante's facial expression go back and forth between shock and horror.

"Yes though why is he so shocked by my name?" Beowulf said. Dante then recovered and looked at Beowulf and said "I blinded you"

Beowulf stared in shock and confusion then replied "What?" Dante also stared in shock and confusion.

_Why does this guy say he blinded me?_ Beowulf thought_ I'm not blind_

Dante was thinking _How do you forget someone blinded you?_

Then Dante remembered a very _very _crucial bit of information Dante then stated this bit of info "And my brother killed you"

"WHAAAAT"? Beowulf screamed clutching the sides of his face looking and sounding like a prep girl about to be murdered. Dante and co watched as Beowulf ran around in circles screaming his head off.

"What the hell is wrong with this guy"? Kratos asked.

"I have no idea" Prince replied.

"I'M A GHOST?" Beowulf screamed.

Still running around in circles screaming like a soon-to-murdered-prep. At this point everyone was starting to get headaches. Hugeass pounding headaches that were unlike anything they had ever experienced. Then Beowulf suddenly stopped running and screaming.

"Oh thank god. He stopped" Prince said clutching his head. "I thought he'd never stop"

"I know" Dante said

"Wait a minute. I can't be a ghost" Beowulf said looking down at himself "If I was I'd be transparent"

There was a blissful peaceful moment of silence that was suddenly broken by: "OH MY GOD I'M A ZOMBIE AAAAAAHHHHHHHH"! Beowulf screamed still (much to everyone's dismay) in a prep-being-murdered scream.

"well". Dante said "If he is a zombie then at least I know how to kill him ?"

Prince looked at him and said "A) If you know how to stop him then _do it_ B) I can't agree with you if I don't know your name. Correct?"

Dante considered Prince's logic (if you can call that) then replied: "Right on both counts. And your also a hypocrite"

"You could've been a bit less blunt about it" Prince said to which Dante shrugged and pulled out two L-shaped hunks of metal.

"What are those?" Prince said pointing at said hunks of metal. Dante frowned slightly at the Princes ignorance and then said with a grin "Ebony & Ivory" and began to approach Beowulf. Prince paused for a moment wondering what the hell Ebony & Ivory were. Then said "Uh Mr. … whatever your name is" Dante turned and said in an annoyed tone "What?"

"Please don't kill him" Prince replied.

"And why the hell not?" Dante asked

"It would be wrong" Prince said.

Dante considered this for a moment then said "I guess your right" Dante said grudgingly "Oh and just for the record. My name's Dante"

"Dante" Prince said turning the name over in his mouth. "Ok Mr. Dante"

Dante grinned an ego grin "Mr. Dante. I like that" then they both then remembered Beowulf: The nightmare. "Go deal with him" Prince said

"No problem" Dante replied and went off to deal with Beowulf. Dante approached stealthily. Slowly walking up to (and trying not to get trampled by) Beowulf. Who _was_ _still_ running around screaming in his prep-girl scream.

_Ok approach the target stealthily _Dante thought trying to remember what he learned from Metal gear Solid

_and… ah screw this shit _Dante flipped Ebony & Ivory over so he was holding them at the barrels.

Then stormed over to Beowulf and without a moments hesitation swung his guns.

End chapter

Next time: Bad introductions (part 2)


End file.
